


Little Elf Girl

by AngelWithAStory



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Childhood Trauma, Drabble, Episode Related, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Missing Scene, ep 85 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9726257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelWithAStory/pseuds/AngelWithAStory
Summary: “I can grant powers to many people. For instance, you… little Elf girl,  what’s your name?”A Vex-centric character study and continuation of the ending of episode 85.





	

**Author's Note:**

> MY DUDE THAT EPISODE FUCKED ME UP
> 
> LIKE _SERIOUSLY_ FUCKED ME UP
> 
> And I got hung up on the 'little elf girl' comment considering how much Vex and Vax hate their elven heritage. I know people made jokes, but I couldn't help but go angsty with it.
> 
> also this fic contains gendered and derogatory slurs, implied sexual abuse, and a shit-tonne of spoilers. I mean, also a lot of D&D-specific racism towards half-elves

_“I can grant powers to many people. For instance, you… little Elf girl, what’s your name?”_

Vex’ahlia was eight years old when a man on the street grabs her arm and starts screaming about her dirty blood and how her mother was a whore for letting that man - that _Elf_ \- touch her and how Vex was going to be a whore just like her mother and he _screamed_ and he _screamed_ until Vax pulled her away. Vex could only cry into her brother’s shoulder that night. The man’s words echoed in her ears.

“ _Little Elf girl_.”

Vex’ahlia was ten when her father plucked them from their home with their mother ( _where they were loved, where they were cared for, where there was life worth living_ ) and dropped in Syngorn. Where people openly stared at them and spat at them and slung insults their way just for existing. Where their father treated them like particularly annoying pets, and the servants were practically their equals. Where the other children threw stones if they were brave enough or shouted their parents words, if they weren’t.

Where Vax learned that a dagger was the best deterrent and Vex realised that bows were much prettier if they could kill.

_Little Elf girl_

Vex’ahlia was fifteen when the boy she likes asked her on a date. When he pushed her up against the wall and tried to push her boundaries further than she wanted. When she called out for Vax and cried for her brother.

When the boy fell to the ground with a dagger sticking out his back and Vex had stolen a bow and a quiver and they had both run away that night.

No more insults. No more ‘ _Human scum_ ’. No more comments about their mother taken as fact.

_Little Elf girl._

Vex’ahlia is twenty-five when she meets Keyleth, and hears about the Ashari. About a small society where race and blood ‘ _purity_ ’ isn’t the first thing that is seen in a person.

Vex hates it. If only because she wishes she’d had it.

_Little. Elf. Girl._

Vex’ahlia is twenty-five when she met the family she never had.

When she met the two little gnomes that barely come up to her waist but could hold their ground against anything thrown their way.

When she met the goliath who towered over her and loved to wrestle with Trinket and could drink anyone bar Pike under the table if he wanted, but who would throw himself in front of anything to protect the rest of them.

When she met Keyleth and couldn’t help but like her, even if they from completely different background, completely different _worlds_...Vex still found herself pulling Keyleth behind cover to keep her safe.

When she met the white-haired man in the prison cell and saw how much he changed after a decent meal and a shave, and vowed that night they she would keep these people safe as long as there was still air in her lungs.

 _Little. Elf. Girl_.

The word scratched into Fenthras taunted her.

The others had disappeared. Faded from view. Vex could still see the wisps of Keyleth’s fog, the smoke from Percy’s Hex, the soft impressions of Vax’s footfalls.

Except Grog and Pike. They still stood close by. Not too close. 

Vex force a breath.

They she closed the space between her and this _newcomer_.

“What kind of adventurer are you, if you’ve never heard of Vox - _fucking_ \- Machina?” Her words were sharp and a man with more sense would have backed down.

Impossibly, he smiled.

“Oh, is that a- a- a band of evildoers? Is that a- a roving Goliath hoard?”

Vex heard the stutter in his voice, and knew that there was some (smart) part of him that was nervous. Or lying.

“Where they fuck have you been? Wher- who _are_ you?” Vex could feel the anger rise again and mingle with mistrust. “No really, who the fuck are you?”

“My name is Taryon Darrington and I am- I am an adventurer and I have more _recently_ set out on my journey that is true.” His posture stiffened like Percy’s just before an insult. _Indignant_.

“This armour looks _very_ new.” Vex commented, as scathing as she dared.

“I have not seen many _real_ battles yet but I have fought many beasts. There was one-”

Vex had heard enough. No story of people laying down their lives so that he could swipe the kill out from under their feet could ever endear him to her.

“Oooh, I see.” Vex made herself sound bored.

“Yes.” And he was smiling at her. “It was so thrilling.”

And there was silence. And Vex didn’t like the look in his eye, or that kind of smile on a man’s face.

_Little Elf girl._

Grog’s hand rested on her shoulder. Not quite a warning. Not quite holding her back. More comfort than anything.

And then Grog was taking over the conversation, and the others were slowly materialising back to the street having sensed the immediate danger was over.

Vex only listened enough to laugh along when appropriate.

Then he mentioned dragons, and Vex couldn’t take it.

“Oh, I’m sure you’d take it out in no time, dear.”

“I feel like you’re condescending to me,” Vex pretended to be taken aback by the accusation. “I’m not a dullard here. I can do a lot of things.”

His protests fell on deaf ears. So what, he had money? So what he had a rod that transformed into weapons?

What good were fancy things if you were too dead to use them?

(The thought stung more than she expected.)

 

The small room at the inn was threadbare at best, but Vex couldn’t muster the will to care.

The rest of them sat downstairs getting drunk and waiting for any news and probably interrogating Tary. None of them had really protested when Vex said she wanted to go to her room. Percy had squeezed her hand under the table and promised to be up soon.

Now, Vex just sat on her bed holding Fenthras.

 _Forgiveness_.

Her chest ached.

All the things Scanlan had said the day before ( _oh gods, had it only be a day_ ) still _burned_. It still hurt that he left. It still hurt that he _blamed_ her. It still hurt that Vex had been so sure it was the right thing to do.

There was as single tap on the door and Vex stood up, wiping her face. She opened the door, letting it open as she took a few steps into the room.

“Percy, darling-” The words died on her tongue as she looked back at the door frame.

Taryon, in all his glorious douche-baggery was leaning stood in the doorway, hands held behind his back and an arrogant smile on his face.

“Not quite.” He said.

“What are you doing here?” Vex said, her grip tightening on Fenthras. His eyes darted to the weapon and lingered for a moment.

“I was just looking for some answers.” Taryon said. “May I come in?”

“If you must. The door stays open.” Vex said, sitting back on her chair. Taryon stepped inside but left the door open, as she asked. “What did you want to know?”

“I took the liberty of asking a few people downstairs,” Taryon began, leaning against a low desk. He kept a respectable distance between them. “About Vox Machina. You lot made quite a splash the last time you were here. But they also mentioned a seventh person. A small, charismatic gnome. Always going on about spices, apparently.”

“I’d watch what you say.” Vex warned, knowing full well that her eyes were red.

“I mean no harm, I was simply curious as to what happened to him.” Taryon said, his smile dropping for a more sincere look.

Vex forced herself to her feet.

“He died.” Vex snapped. “Then he came back, and then he left us. _Yesterday_. So _sorry_ , if we’re not all sunshine and roses, but we’re pretty miserable right now because we just lost a member of our family. And then _you_ turn up, flashing your wealth and wearing expensive armour and you have _no idea!_ You have no idea what it’s like to need to survive. Or to fight a _real_ battle because if you don’t, you and everyone you love will _die_. You’ve never seen someone you love be _clawed apart_ by a dragon and then stitched back together. You’ve never seen someone’s mind be taken over and be forced to do terrible things for terrible people.”

Vex was breathing heavily now, stepping forwards so she was in Taryon’s face. He had backed up against the wall, but he looked like he wanted to stand his ground.

“I have been in _plenty_ of battles.”

“No. People have fought your battles and you let them die for you. That’s not fighting. That’s being a coward.” Vex spat.

“At least I haven’t died.” Taryon said, dropping his voice. “I’m not sure that much could be said for your lot, little Elf.”

Vex moved on instinct. Stepping back, drawing an arrow, aiming.

The tip lay at the base of Taryon’s throat.

“ _Call me that one more time, and see what good it does you._ ” Vex could see the fear in his eye now. She hated it. _She loved it._ )

“Vex, dear,” Percy’s voice came from the doorway and both looked towards him. “I do think it’s a bad idea to shoot our new sponsor.”

Vex lowered her bow, but she kept it tense.

“You should go back to your room.” She said, keeping his gaze. He pulled himself together and nodded.

“Just so you know, I don’t want to replace someone you lost.” Taryon said, turning sombre for a brief moment. Long enough to seem vulnerable. Not long enough to convince Vex.

“You couldn’t if you tried.” Vex said, mostly to herself as Taryon crossed the room to leave.

“Goodnight, Taryon. Sleep well.” Percy said, waiting by the door to show him out. Taryon’s eyes flickered between Percy and Vex as Percy shut the door and an understanding crossed his face.

Vex pretended not to notice.

She let the string go slack and put the arrow away. Fenthras fell to the floor.

Percy took few, deliberate steps and pulled her into a hug. He held her for an impossibly long time.

“I’m here when you want to talk about it.” He said, resting his cheek on the top of her head.

“ _I wasn’t going to shoot him_.” Vex’s voice was muffled by Percy’s lapels.

“I know.” Percy said.

“ _I miss Scanlan._ ” Her hands gripped his jacket. “ _A lot._ ”

“I know.” Percy kissed her head. “Do you want to lie down for a while?”

“ _Yes please._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [queenmoggy](http://queenmoggy.tumblr.com/) on tumblr if you want to drop by <3


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